Buck$ for Becky's Belly
Ever since I was very young, I have turned to food as my drug of choice in dealing with my unwanted emotions. I can't remember a time where I didn't think about food and as a result I suffered in silence of self hatred and shame. I never felt beautiful despite what others told me, was suicidal by the time I was 15 years old, didn't get asked out for any proms or school dances and technically, didn't even graduate from high school because I struggled with a learning disability.
As my weight went up and down, so did my self esteem. Like so many, I tried everything out there to break free from what I didn't know I was struggling with which was an addiction to sugar and flour. At age 23, my father, who was my biggest cheerleader in my life, was suddenly killed in a car accident and at that point, I had to learn to grow my own wings and teach myself to fly.
Being rejected by so many men through out my lifetime, I believe, not only because of my weight but my severe low self esteem, it took a toll on my overall quality of life. At age of 29, I married a man who had chased me for a year in a half who I didn't love because, in my own mind, it was better to be married than single. Quickly after getting married I found myself in an abusive marriage. I was abusive to him and he was to me.
A month after getting married, I was pregnant. 8 weeks later, I was rushed into surgery with an ectopic pregnancy where they ended up blocking one my fallopian tubes. Two more pregnancies followed that same year but both resulted in miscarriages. Looking back now, I knew it was a God send that I didn't carry those pregnancies to full terms, because I was scared to death to be bringing children into that kind of marriage where both of us were incredibly unhealthy.
Within the first year of my marriage, I had ballooned up to 266 lbs which was my top weight of my life. I had truly let myself go and was giving up. I was isolating from friends and family. I didn't want to be around people and would just sit in front of the TV eating myself to emotionally and physically to death. Little did I know, it would only be a few years after that point, that my entire life would change FOREVER!
February 23, 2009 will forever be the day that I broke FREE from the cage I had locked myself up in for so many years. A good friend of mine suggested that I attend a 12 step food addiction confernence with her down in Las Vegas. After a little coercing on her part, I agreed to go, not knowing a thing about addiction and never had attended a meeting. After all, in my mind, that was for people who were alcoholics and drug addicts, NOT ME.
As we entered the conference late, the lady at the front of the room was telling her story and it just so happen to be MY story. It didn't take long for me to realize that this addiction to food was what I had battled with my entire life. I got a sponsor that night and started the day after the conference and the rest is history.
My journey wasn't perfect but 14 months from that day, I hit my goal weight for the first time in my life which resulted in me releasing 130 lbs. That was just over 6 years ago. I am a completely different person today than the woman who walked in that room that day. It's been a journey to discover this beautiful woman both inside and out that I am now. Truly a spiritual program that helped me get out of the food and on with my life and with God's help, heal from a lifetime of compulsive eating.
As a result of losing all that weight, I get asked all the time when I speak, "Where is your skin?" I always want to respond with , 'What? Do you want me to get naked?' Yes, I do have extra skin. I have tried just about everything to get the skin to tighten up and nothing has worked. I have even been battling an infection and open wound that is incredibly painful and bleeds because of the excess skin on my belly that folds over. It's gotten to a point where it's now necessary for me to get surgery. As I have been meeting with different surgeons, the thought of living a life free from having to wear body suits otherwise known as girdles, is getting exciting to imagine.
Also in 2001, in an effort to trying to lose weight at 230 lbs, I asked a good friend of mine to run a full 26.2 mile marathon with me so I could lose weight once and for all. Even though I trained for 4 months and barely completed the marathon in 7 hours 10 minutes, I didn't lose a pound of weight. I was very discouraged but was still binging and was stuck in my addiction which resulted in having to endure a lot of pain at that time. I recently met someone who challenged me to train and run a 1/2 marathon with him on October 23rd of this year. It's always been a goal of mine to run another marathon at my goal weight and for the past 5 weeks, I have not missed a day of training. This time I am 110% committed to doing my very best at finishing that race at a much faster pace than I ran at 230 lbs. I have scheduled my surgery for a week after the 1/2 marathon in order to give me the 8 weeks of recovery. This way I can start training for my full marathon which I will be running my birthday weekend in San Diego, June 2017.
I am not choosing to have this surgery for vanity reasons, it's time for me to lay that part of my life down and to move on. To honor that body for the lessons it has taught me because without that overweight body, I wouldn't be the woman that I am today. It's time my body matches my soul. I am proud of who I have become not because of what I look like now but for the internal spiritual work I have done and for what miracles God has worked in my life.
See, I always thought it was my job to carry this burden of obesity myself. I created it, I have to fix it but it wasn't until I allowed God to take this cross of my burden upon him, did I find success. I no longer feel like I am alone nor am I suppose to bare my own burdens. I released my weight to Him and He took it from me.
I am not the type of person to ask for help but through these last 7 1/2 years I have had to learn to ask others to walk with me, help support me and love me through my steps to recovery.
Although this is difficult for me to ask, I know this surgery is not possible without your help. Any amount of donation is very much appreciated.
As a THANK YOU, those making a donation of $50, I will be giving a FREE "QUEEN it up... Clean-A-Thon" I do once a month where I coach people for 8 hours in cleaning up their spaces. This is not only a FUN but ery productive group. You can get more information by going to www.QueenItUp.com.
For those who make a minimum donation of $100, I will be giving 2 months of "QUEEN IT UP ... Clean-A-Thon" along with a signed copy of my upcoming book "DROP IT UP - How to WIN by LOSING," which will be released January 1st 2017.
Please know, how much I appreciate each and every one of you. To take time to read and watch my video, to care to support me in this crazy journey I have been on and to be willing to find hope hopefully in your own life to keep going when you want to give up. Let me tell you, I have been there many times and I am grateful for the many people who have been my inspiration to keep me going and have brought me to this place in my life right now. As I always say, "You cannot keep what you don't give away." I believe that to be true and that is what will drive me to always share my story because some woman 7 1/2 years ago was willing to tell her story, I got into recovery and my life was forever changed.
GOD BLESS!
As my weight went up and down, so did my self esteem. Like so many, I tried everything out there to break free from what I didn't know I was struggling with which was an addiction to sugar and flour. At age 23, my father, who was my biggest cheerleader in my life, was suddenly killed in a car accident and at that point, I had to learn to grow my own wings and teach myself to fly.
Being rejected by so many men through out my lifetime, I believe, not only because of my weight but my severe low self esteem, it took a toll on my overall quality of life. At age of 29, I married a man who had chased me for a year in a half who I didn't love because, in my own mind, it was better to be married than single. Quickly after getting married I found myself in an abusive marriage. I was abusive to him and he was to me.
A month after getting married, I was pregnant. 8 weeks later, I was rushed into surgery with an ectopic pregnancy where they ended up blocking one my fallopian tubes. Two more pregnancies followed that same year but both resulted in miscarriages. Looking back now, I knew it was a God send that I didn't carry those pregnancies to full terms, because I was scared to death to be bringing children into that kind of marriage where both of us were incredibly unhealthy.
Within the first year of my marriage, I had ballooned up to 266 lbs which was my top weight of my life. I had truly let myself go and was giving up. I was isolating from friends and family. I didn't want to be around people and would just sit in front of the TV eating myself to emotionally and physically to death. Little did I know, it would only be a few years after that point, that my entire life would change FOREVER!
February 23, 2009 will forever be the day that I broke FREE from the cage I had locked myself up in for so many years. A good friend of mine suggested that I attend a 12 step food addiction confernence with her down in Las Vegas. After a little coercing on her part, I agreed to go, not knowing a thing about addiction and never had attended a meeting. After all, in my mind, that was for people who were alcoholics and drug addicts, NOT ME.
As we entered the conference late, the lady at the front of the room was telling her story and it just so happen to be MY story. It didn't take long for me to realize that this addiction to food was what I had battled with my entire life. I got a sponsor that night and started the day after the conference and the rest is history.
My journey wasn't perfect but 14 months from that day, I hit my goal weight for the first time in my life which resulted in me releasing 130 lbs. That was just over 6 years ago. I am a completely different person today than the woman who walked in that room that day. It's been a journey to discover this beautiful woman both inside and out that I am now. Truly a spiritual program that helped me get out of the food and on with my life and with God's help, heal from a lifetime of compulsive eating.
As a result of losing all that weight, I get asked all the time when I speak, "Where is your skin?" I always want to respond with , 'What? Do you want me to get naked?' Yes, I do have extra skin. I have tried just about everything to get the skin to tighten up and nothing has worked. I have even been battling an infection and open wound that is incredibly painful and bleeds because of the excess skin on my belly that folds over. It's gotten to a point where it's now necessary for me to get surgery. As I have been meeting with different surgeons, the thought of living a life free from having to wear body suits otherwise known as girdles, is getting exciting to imagine.
Also in 2001, in an effort to trying to lose weight at 230 lbs, I asked a good friend of mine to run a full 26.2 mile marathon with me so I could lose weight once and for all. Even though I trained for 4 months and barely completed the marathon in 7 hours 10 minutes, I didn't lose a pound of weight. I was very discouraged but was still binging and was stuck in my addiction which resulted in having to endure a lot of pain at that time. I recently met someone who challenged me to train and run a 1/2 marathon with him on October 23rd of this year. It's always been a goal of mine to run another marathon at my goal weight and for the past 5 weeks, I have not missed a day of training. This time I am 110% committed to doing my very best at finishing that race at a much faster pace than I ran at 230 lbs. I have scheduled my surgery for a week after the 1/2 marathon in order to give me the 8 weeks of recovery. This way I can start training for my full marathon which I will be running my birthday weekend in San Diego, June 2017.
I am not choosing to have this surgery for vanity reasons, it's time for me to lay that part of my life down and to move on. To honor that body for the lessons it has taught me because without that overweight body, I wouldn't be the woman that I am today. It's time my body matches my soul. I am proud of who I have become not because of what I look like now but for the internal spiritual work I have done and for what miracles God has worked in my life.
See, I always thought it was my job to carry this burden of obesity myself. I created it, I have to fix it but it wasn't until I allowed God to take this cross of my burden upon him, did I find success. I no longer feel like I am alone nor am I suppose to bare my own burdens. I released my weight to Him and He took it from me.
I am not the type of person to ask for help but through these last 7 1/2 years I have had to learn to ask others to walk with me, help support me and love me through my steps to recovery.
Although this is difficult for me to ask, I know this surgery is not possible without your help. Any amount of donation is very much appreciated.
As a THANK YOU, those making a donation of $50, I will be giving a FREE "QUEEN it up... Clean-A-Thon" I do once a month where I coach people for 8 hours in cleaning up their spaces. This is not only a FUN but ery productive group. You can get more information by going to www.QueenItUp.com.
For those who make a minimum donation of $100, I will be giving 2 months of "QUEEN IT UP ... Clean-A-Thon" along with a signed copy of my upcoming book "DROP IT UP - How to WIN by LOSING," which will be released January 1st 2017.
Please know, how much I appreciate each and every one of you. To take time to read and watch my video, to care to support me in this crazy journey I have been on and to be willing to find hope hopefully in your own life to keep going when you want to give up. Let me tell you, I have been there many times and I am grateful for the many people who have been my inspiration to keep me going and have brought me to this place in my life right now. As I always say, "You cannot keep what you don't give away." I believe that to be true and that is what will drive me to always share my story because some woman 7 1/2 years ago was willing to tell her story, I got into recovery and my life was forever changed.
GOD BLESS!